Understanding Attachment

Ask most new parents what you want the most or what your biggest hope and dream is for your baby and usually the response is something like this:

"More than anything, I just really want to help my baby grow up to be happy. I want us to stay connected and have a good bond as my baby grows up. And I really hope they become an adult that feels satisfied, fulfilled, and in love with their life.

No pressure or anything, right? 😅

But despite our best intentions, parenting is hard.

I know that it can be really frustrating when your baby wants to be held every second of the day and cries the second you put her down.

I’ve been right there with you so I know it’s hard to stay patient when your toddler throws a tantrum every night at bedtime when all you want to do is wrap things up so you can cuddle up on the couch and catch up on a few episodes of Grey’s Anatomy before bed.

And trust me, I know how exhausting it can be when your little one can’t seem to do anything independently and constantly needs your attention every minute of the day all. day. long.

attachment - mom smiling and looking up while her baby kisses her neck

Let’s face it, babies and toddlers demand a lot from us.

Although what we want most is to raise happy, healthy children, it’s really hard to understand what our babies and toddlers need.

And most days, it’s even harder to find a balance so we don’t lose ourselves along the way.

Here’s the secret that has absolutely transformed parenting for me and thousands of other parents:

Your child’s number one job during the first few years is to form a strong, secure attachment with their primary caregiver (aka with YOU!). And everything they do ultimately comes back to their desire to create a secure attachment and their need for contact, closeness, and proximity.

This means that your number one job as a new parent is to understand your baby’s attachment needs and foster the secure attachment they’re looking for.

Here’s what happens when you make attachment a priority:

Learning more about attachment helps you to better understand your baby. 


Better understanding your baby helps you to connect with your baby.  


And connecting with your baby gives you the confidence to listen to your instincts and fall in love with the early years of parenting.  

Focusing on attachment lets you tune out the noise and focus on what’s most important.

As new parents, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to get things right. And I know how overwhelming it can be to shift through all of the advice online.

But that’s one reason why focusing on attachment is so powerful.

attachment - african american mom and young toddler smiling and face to face

As a parent, one of the best things you can do for your child is to understand their unique attachment needs and learn how to respond to them and support important emotional development.

Because forming this secure attachment during infancy and toddlerhood sets the foundation for your child’s emotional regulation, mental health, and future relationships as they get older.

Dive in to learn more about attachment: